How to Fail at Web Design

2. Put a huge graphic on the entry page, before the content of your site. It's not your fault if visitors have a slow connection.

3. Nobody minds the odd broken link.

4. Use animated GIFs liberally. These are very amusing.  

5. Have the site in at least three frames.

6. Web sites without background wallpaper are dull.

7. Use lots of different fonts. Everyone has the same fonts installed these days.

8. Purple text on a black background looks really good.

9. Use plenty of underlining. This will draw people's attention to the important parts of your message.

10. Better still, show people you mean business by highlighting lots of your text. This can be done at random, but it's best used on special offers. It also looks really COOL.

11. Combine these features wherever possible, centre your text, add colour, and make sure your punters customers get the message.

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12. Decorate pages with page counters, clip art, and and plenty of horizontal rules.

13. This is the Internet, so you don't have to worry about spelling and punctuation.

14. If some pages are unfinished, just paste in an "Under Construction" sign.

15. HAVE ALL YOUR TEXT IN CAPITALS - AS IT MAKES IT MUCH EASIER TO READ. SEE THIS GOOD EXAMPLE.

16. Once you've got your site, make sure that you publicise it as widely as possible. If you are not certain which groups to post to, you should post to as many as possible.

17. Ensure your message gets through by posting it at least three times. Repeat these postings on a daily basis.

18. If in any doubt, copy other people's good ideas.

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