-------- MANTEX NEWSLETTER --------
Number 113 - February 2006 - ISSN 1470-1863
Writing - Fiction - Jazz - Web Design
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0--- 'The Weekend Novelist' - new book
Would you like to attend one of those creative
writing workshops - but you've not got the time?
Here's the answer. It's a book-length version of
the same thing, written by two successful tutors.
In fact it would suit any sort of writer - novelist,
dramatist, or screenwriter - because the principles
they use apply to any genre which deals in story,
character, plot, and the arrangement of a prose
narrative.
They take you through all the basic principles,
show them at work in examples drawn from modern
fiction such as 'The Great Gatsby' and Ian McEwan's
'Amsterdam'. They even help you to construct a sample
novel as you go along. More details at this page -
http://www.mantex.co.uk/reviews/ray-2.htm
0--- Pub quiz - Question #1
What sort of animal is a Lipizaner?
0--- 'Pocket Oxford Spanish Dictionary' - new book
First of all, it definitely won't fit in your
pocket. Because it's a desk type dictionary,
and it comes with English-Spanish as well as
Spanish-English.
And there's more besides. It contains an A-to-Z
gazette of cultural events and customs in both
countries, guidance notes on writing letters,
and even notes on grammar plus verb tables.
Excellent source of reference for beginners and
intermediate users. Full details and review at -
http://www.mantex.co.uk/reviews/oxf-pspan.htm
0--- Pub quiz - Question #2
What is the currency of Greece?
0--- Modern Fiction Reviews - new feature
We've added a new section to our web site which
covers reviews of modern fiction. This kicks
off with reports on Zadie Smith's latest novel
'On Beauty' which is guest-reviewed by Heather
Pollitt, and Philip Roth's 'The Plot Against America'
which is covered by political blogger Bill Jones.
Heather also unearths an little-known gem in
Madeleine St.John's 'The Essence of the Thing',
which was shortlisted for the Booker Prize.
http://www.mantex.co.uk/reviews/biblios/art-modlit.htm
** WANTED Reviewers **
We need more reviews to fill out this section, so
if you want to send us your reflections on recent
modern fiction, get your fingers to the keyboard now.
And if you need guidance on how to write book reviews,
we have just added guidance notes on exactly that topic -
http://www.mantex.co.uk/samples/reviewing.htm
If you are interested in contributing a review,
email us at - reviews@mantex.co.uk
0--- Pub quiz - Question #3
What is a Taipan?
0--- Google Flash Earth
Once the files have loaded, you can zoom
in and out from satellite down to street
level in a manner which is quite vertiginous.
Hours of fun trying to spot your own back yard.
But not all countries are covered. No street
maps of Greenland just yet.
http://www.flashearth.com/
0--- Pub quiz - Question #4
Where is your pollex?
0--- 'Oxford Companion to Jazz'
Guest reviewer John White reports on a
blockbuster compilation of articles
specially commissioned for this book which
covers every aspect of jazz from its
beginnings to the present day.
John has written widely on jazz before.
We reviewed his biography of Artie Shaw at
http://www.mantex.co.uk/reviews/white.htm
This is one which will instruct beginners
or offer new perspectives for the initiated.
Great names featured go from Louis Armstrong
and Bessie Smith, via Coleman Hawkins, Dizzy
Gillespie, and Charlie Parker, to Miles Davis
and John Coltrane.
There are also individual chapters on topics
such as jazz photographs, the clarinet in jazz,
and 'The Electric Guitar and Vibraphone in Jazz:
Batteries Not Included'. Full review here at -
http://www.mantex.co.uk/reviews/kirchner.htm
0--- Pub quiz - Question #5
For every seven white keys on a piano,
how many black keys are there?
0--- 'Who's On First' - new version (George W. and Condi)
[With apologies to those who are too young to remember
the George Burns and Gracie Allen show, or Bud Abbott
and Lou Costello.]
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The main man in China!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you, or will you not, tell me the name
of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?! Yassir Arafat is in China?
I thought he was dead in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look Condi. I need to know the name of
the new leader of China. Get me the
Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could
use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: I said Milk! And will you please make that call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you please stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East!
Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars.
[Thanks to the original author - unknown.]
0--- Pub quiz - Question #6
Where is the Bay of Rainbows?
0--- I Speak your Height
Well, not really - but if you enter your height
into this neat little gadget, you can see yourself
compared with the height of famous people.
I was astonished to discover that Abraham Lincoln
was six foot four, and delighted that I have so much
vertical compatibility with Anna Nicole Smith.
Try it at -
http://www.ringophone.com/TallOrNot.swf
0--- Pub quiz - Question #7
Who is the patron saint of Venice?
0--- Publish your Academic Writing - new
We've added illustrated guidance notes on
preparing your academic work for publication -
either in printed form, or on the web.
If you want that promotion to senior lecturer
or above, you *know* you've got to get into
print to make it. Why not shape up here -
http://www.mantex.co.uk/samples/pub-09.htm
0--- Pub quiz - Question #8
Where do cars with CDN plates come from?
0--- 'The New Bloomsday Book' - new book
This is a guide to James Joyce's modern
classic novel, "Ulysses". It explains both
what's going on in this difficult and complex
novel - and it also points out all the
allusions and parallels with Homer's epic
poem "The Odyssey", on which it is based.
Harry Blamires follows every detail of the
plot, which if you haven't read it traces
the wanderings of two characters round Dublin
on a single day - 16 June 1914.
http://www.mantex.co.uk/reviews/blamires.htm
0--- Pub quiz - Question #9
What type of sugar is found in milk?
0--- 'TittyBangBang!' - Grab it Whilst it's There
The BBC can be b*st*rds! They make programs
with OUR money, put them online ever so briefly,
then pull them off and SELL them to us as DVDs.
So grab free online viewing of the latest comedy
series whilst it's available. 'TittyBangBang' is
a hilarious series of sketches featuring Debbie
Chazen and the delicious Lucy Montgomery, who is
another Julia Davis. It's written by Jill Parker.
Characters include Maxine Bendix, collapsing under
excessive cosmetic surgery ("Don't worry. It's just
a little bit of seepage"); a completely hopeless
ladies darts team; and an exhibitionist Italian
cleaning lady working for the National Trust
("Don't look at me! I'm just waxing my legs...
I'm shy.") I'm fully addicted.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/tv/tittybangbang/
Of course you can also watch it on BBC3 TV
0--- Pub quiz - Question #10
What single word can be a lucky chance or
the hook of an anchor?
0--- 'Web Site Measurement Hacks' - new book
You've got a web site, it's getting some
visitors, but you would like to improve
your performance. Does this sound familiar?
Eric Peterson is a self-confessed 'web
measurement geek' who knows both the
techniques you need and the e-commerce
strategies which produce results.
He shows you how to do it by tweaking
your web pages, interpreting your log
files, adding scripts, and even writing
your own software - if you're up to it.
What I particularly liked about his approach
is that he offers solutions using f.r.e.e
software as well as commercial services.
http://www.mantex.co.uk/reviews/peterson.htm
0--- Quotable Quotes
"S.e.x with love is the greatest thing in life.
But s.e.x without love - that's not so bad either."
Mae West
0--- BONUS ITEM - Funtime Sindy Dolls
Comic photo-stories featuring Sindy dolls who
enact spoof soap-like drama vignettes of Audrey
and her friends having a Tupperware party. It
doesn't turn out quite as expected.
Also, don't miss the five part series of Chas
and Dave, two houseproud young men who live
together and take special pride in their
personal hygiene. Camp, simple, funny.
http://www.funtime-sindy.co.uk/index.htm
0--- Readers' Letters + Corrections
---- Big Numbers ----
Sue Burnett write from University of Glamorgan:
Pub Quiz #9 answer - A Billion
"I'd always understood that the US used billion to
denote one thousand million, but the British used
it to denote one million million. So have we bowed
to the dread spectre of Americanism then? Next we'll
be using 'color' and 'center' and 'aluminum'
Doom, doom, all is dooooooom!!!!"
Mick Trott in Hereford agrees with her:
"Mathematically it's a million million. And this was
the accepted rule when I was at school. However, the
US used it as a thousand million - perhaps so they
would have more billionaires than anyone else;)
We have come to accept this as a financial and
economic measure. However, I believe that a UK
mathematician would still say it was a million million.
To support this claim, he quotes askoxford.com
If you are American, it is undoubtedly 1,000,000,000.
This amount is known to traditionally minded British
people as `a thousand million', and by some more
adventurous ones as a 'milliard', though this word
has not made as much headway in English as in some
other European languages. A trillion is then
1,000,000,000,000, and so on.
If you are British, on the other hand, a billion
may be 1,000,000,000,000 (a million million), following
the older convention.
If you are neither British nor American, you can
take your pick! (Both systems were invented by the
French, but are called 'British' and 'American' for
convenience.)
0--- PUB QUIZ - ANSWERS
#1 What sort of animal is a Lipizaner?
Answer: A horse
#2 What is the currency of Greece?
Answer: Drachma
#3 What is a Taipan?
Answer: A snake
#4 Where is your pollex?
Answer: It's your thumb
#5 For every seven white keys on a piano,
how many black keys are there?
Answer: Five
#6 Where is the Bay of Rainbows?
Answer: On the moon
#7 Who is the patron saint of Venice?
Answer: St Mark
#8 Where do cars with CDN plates come from?
Answer: Canada
#9 What type of sugar is found in milk?
Answer: Lactose
#10 What single word can be a lucky chance or
the hook of an anchor?
Answer: A fluke
0--- COMING SOON
'Synonyms and Antonyms'
'Web Services Essentials'
'Oxford Spellchecker and Dictionary'
'eBay - The Missing Manual'
'Penguin Dictionary of Jokes'
'Yahoo! Hacks'
'Word Origins'
(c) Copyright 2006, MANTEX
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News-113-February-2006
ISSN 1470-1863
The British Library